I feel

 I was so happy this morning.

It rained all night- and the sky was still sprinkling

The weather app gave a flood warning.

You carried a bumbershoot today,

You didn't want to get wet, just to get father 

Away.

A good grade in the US Gov test,

Made me happier - 96/100- not bad, I guess.

I fell quiet.

Now, my eyes are burning- probably it's the weather, 

maybe it's the light in the room. 

Maybe it's the changed lip-dub schedule.

My stomach grumbles, and my body aches,

As if I was in the pre-fever stage.

But I'm not.

I feel dull all of a sudden.

I hope my day goes fine. I am free of assignments- No!

I've a ton of homework over the extended weekend.

Good Friday, Saturday, Sunday, last power Monday (late start)- it's going to be long.

I'll catch up with my incomplete work.

But I'm supposed to feel free.

I'm supposed to ease, to breathe.

Yet my hands feel too tired to pen down monotonously what I feel- right now.

Feelings keep changing. But-

You won't change, would you?

Please don't change. 

If you ever do change- change for the better.

I can't afford to lose you, to miss you,

Like I miss the "happy me" from this morning.

I don't know what I feel- do you?

                                                         ~ Kripa Sarkar

Note: (April-06-2023) I wrote this poem just before lunch during my AP lit class.  A changed schedule again and I felt feverish. And yes, I did get stuck with high fever that day- in fact throughout my extended weekend I was recovering. ( This is supposed to be funny👉) If this was a text book, the question would say, " Who do you think the author is referring to as 'You' in the above line?" 

Duh! isn't that obvious. Who asks such questions?

A short escape

 It is a spring day

Chilly breeze, warm sun, bright sky-

But I still feel cold with my full sleeves on

I feel comfort as I face my back towards the sun

I quickly escaped when, today, the bell wrung

Maybe they noticed me, perhaps not- but I didn't care

I don't feel bad, it doesn't bother me if they stare

I'm good on my own,

Sitting on a bench near the flags~

Admirals, Tennessee, USA.

When I reflect back, which I often do,

I know I've walked a long way...

I turn about to face the sun,

There are trees around, but totally bare.

Not all of them though; a few seem to know it's spring,

And so they've given some effort to turn green

Two people walk across the street.

I sit alone, cherishing my escape,

A short, a small, escape- from a world where I'm supposed 

To be - It's lunch, it's loud there-

 to a stone bench father away from the

School's parking lot- it's quiet here.

But the bell will ring soon.

I better go now.

I need to return to my life which I ought to live

And not escape.

                                     ~ Kripa Sarkar

PS: (March- 28- 2023) This was a quiet day when there was a different schedule in school and none of my friends had lunch when it was lunch time on my schedule! It was a lonely lunch- but I'm glad I wrote this poem... 

A NOBODY

It is  a mere reflection 

Of what you possess,

That haunts you 

When you ought to assess~

Who you are.

I was perplexed when asked,

"Who are you?"

When I said "nobody",

It didn't seem to suffice

Their faces in dark disappointment,

Rebuilt instantaneously quiet;

It struck me upon revealing myself,

I have to pay a price.

I mimicked the caterpillar on the leaf,

Consuming what I found,

I enclosed myself in the quest of relief

The tragedy being- I knew

I could never turn into a butterfly...

Anyway, I cocooned myself,

Did I have a choice?  

An abrupt whisper filled the hall,

The have lot more to say, I thought

Whispers modified to echoes in my mind,

My pulse rapidly increased, pacing ahead of time

To get away, I looked around for an aperture,

Alas when I found none, I glanced at them

In terror!

Sharp breathing, blurred vision

Palpitating, I caught my head in my hands!

Shut my eyes with such might 

That even the brightness of heaven 

Would fail to unfold them.

Heat filled up my cocoon,

The echoes of their demands

Vibrated- moved its walls!

Lo! I heard a crisp melody, 

A crack- and another,

A-and another crack!

I didn't feel my weight,

Was I floating?

I hesitantly opened my eyes.

I was flying! I am flying!

I heard something-

Some voices in the distance...

I chose not to be bothered,

After all I am a nobody

Who can fly...!

                            ~ Kripa Sarkar

PS: I wrote this poem on March-12-2023 for my school's poetry slam competition. I wrote this poem in the trial of expressing my views on how it is perfectly alright to be a nobody, because that's what we truly are ( you'll know if you closely look at yourself). The question " Who are you" still perplexes me- but now I have a confident answer- A nobody