Indent

 All I feel

And all I hear,

 All I see

Is far too near for me

To put a finger on it.

 I’m here now,

Or have I been here before,

 I think I’m winning, but,

Who knows?

Who’s keeping a score?

Make up a number for it. 

 I smell smoke

I feel the heat.

 Is it the fire in me?

Need a breeze to burn me,

So much, the sun gets blinded.

 Am I her

Who she dreamed of,

 Floating up, in bright daylight?

Maybe it’s my millionth time,

but to her, it’s my first flight!

 All the spaces

All the indents,

 All the reasons,

I can’t comprehend,

Are there for a reason, really?

I fumble to catch the air I breathe.

       ~ Kripa Sarkar 

Toes

Your toes and mine

Warming near the fire.

Your hands in mine

I’m losing myself in your smile.

This is paradise.

I look into your eyes 

Only to find your love so deep

It makes me afraid that I’m in a dream.

You say

It will be fine.

We’ll have our time.

You say

We’ll have our time.

I know we’ll have our time.

But I miss you right now.

I want to kiss you right now!

I just can’t be this far

I need you moreee!! I need you more!

I need you now and I needed you in every moment that has passed by,

I needed you when I didn’t know who you were,

I will need you more now that our toes warm up together.

I will need you a little more every passing day.

Baby I hope that’s okay.

I need you more today.

I need your toes to stay warmer than mine,

I need your toes right next to mine 

~Noni

Cray-cray

I giggle like a 3 year old,

I know you don’t like the way I fold,

I talk so much I’m sure I make your ears hurt,

I love how you mimic me when I burp.

You warm me up when my hands get cold,

I don’t know how but you think I’m brave and bold.

You say that I am a goof ball, 

And when you look at me,

the butterflies in my stomach,

you make them crawl.

I call you my sleepyhead and

keep you up till your eyes are red,

I ask and ask and you smile and answer,

I know you know that I could pull an all nighter.

I wish you knew how the thoughts of you

keeps me up until the sky turns from black to blue,

Just like tonight, 

past midnight, my eyes more awake 

than ever!

“A bundle of craziness,” you said.

Yes, I am crazy when I’m with you.

Yes, I am crazy. Crazy for you.

God! I’m so lucky I get to be crazy for you…

~ Noni

I know

I don't know what to say.

It's like I'm choking with 

so much chatter that's here to stay.

I don't know what to say.

I am speechless, watching you 

be so brave.

My chest starts throbbing

by the thought of what

you did to build yourself.

Oh, what you did every day

without asking for help!

My tears roll down unruly

when I look at that picture

your sister posted on her story,

I don't know why.

I will never know why.

I don't know if it's my happy cry,

because I see you smiling in it.

I don't know if it's the feeling of 

a searching "why?" 

because I am trying to look

for you behind your smiling face.

Maybe I am overthinking.

Maybe I am missing something.

Maybe I am crying because I wish

I could be there with you.

Maybe I want to go back in time 

and tweak a thing or two,

just to reassure myself that 

your face was never sad,

that your heart was never hurt,

that the word "bad"? you'd never felt that.

Maybe because I am selfish

I cry,

to find something familiar

lost in the loop of time.

Maybe there was not a moment 

when you weren’t mine.

Maybe I’m right,

We’ve met in our past lives.

Swimming in this infinitely deep 

ocean of life with my eyes closed 

I feel your hand gripping 

mine again, over and over again.

You make it too easy to forget 

That you are the moon,

And I, the murky reflection 

you chose everyday to embrace.

I think I know now.

~

Noni

This winter is not Forever

I look outside the window, 

life in monochrome.

Although the trees look bare for long,

the fields, for even longer, look desolate,

This winter is not forever,

So when I'm asked to just get 'used to it',

I won't.

I won't get used to it.

I'll be jittery, I'll be hopeful, I won't acclimate.

When I set my foot on the white swooshy snow,

My fingers freezing in my pocket, cold,

And I feel the chilly burn on the tip of my nose,

My lips, more chapped than ever,

"Trust me," I breathe to myself, 

"The warmth is closer than you suppose-

this winter is not forever-"

This winter is not forever...

Our spring may seem far,

Like the memory of the old scar

On your elbow,

A memory still fresh in your brain,

But now a lumpy mark,

Like the branches on the cherry blossom

that, now, sit bare,

A memory of its delicately vibrant pink from last year

Is what I imagine it'll look like in the spring.

A spring we await impatiently,

As the long winter lives off of our souls,

But bewail not, my clover,

This winter is not forever.

This winter is not long at all.

~ Kripa Sarkar

Dhaki

Drown in the thunderous roar of the dhak,

I drown in every beat;

"dhum-da-dhum-dhum, da-dhum-dhum"

I erase myself and accept my defeat.

Endure the sore shoulders from the strikes,

I endure the tenderness, as it tastes like a sweet treat.

"dhum-da-dhum-dhum, da dhum-dhum"

I erase myself, I blissfully weep.

I am inexistent, yet I ask, "Who am I?"

"dhum-da-dhum-dhum, da-dhum-dhum"

I hear myself cry-

I am the rhythm,

I am the hum,

I am the friction of the cane striking the skin,

I am a dhaki, 

alive in the percussions of my dhak,

that thunderous roar singing songs of 

the innumerable places I've been.

~ Kripa Sarkar 

“Are you there?”

What if the road I'm darting on, 

takes me to a cliff at the crack of dawn?
What if the fog I see from up there,
Is as dense as the twisted nerves inside my head?
What if the moisture in the air,
Is as heavy as my emotions, too much to spare?
If I take another step from up there,
who will catch me from falling?
Who? 
Should I really care?
Will you care?
I don’t know; do I?
What I know is,
I don't want to take another step, 
Not move another inch.
I don't want to face you, Fear,  
I want to rest right here.
I don’t want to grow up today,
When did I get here anyway?
How did I come all this way?
I don’t know; do I?
What I know is
I don't want to live a life that sounds, 
like a poem that does not rhyme.
But how often do they really rhyme?
I suppose as often as you can pause time.
So, I will close my eyes, and sing the song of love and I will move an inch every single day.
If I fall, I will know life from death, 
If I don’t, I will know your love.
But If I don't move at all, 
I’m bound to ask myself, “Hello? Are you there?”
~ Kripa Sarkar