4:47 am

And when I turn to the other side in my sleep,

Extend my hands to touch the

sheets trying to feel you,

Looking for you sleeping next to me…

Alas soon realizing that it was only 

in my dream that we were snuggled up in our fleece blanket,

My heart crumbles! 

How this distance is squeezing out all the blood 

flowing through them like squeezing out water from a sponge…

leaving my heart pours and dry! 

Now all that’s left is my beaten soul…

waiting impatiently for a lifetime with you. 

I will wait as long as it takes,

To brush my fingers gently through your silky hair, 

counting the silver ones, 

and giggling and calling you old- claiming you're only mine,

and will be mine forever- until and after 

all of my teeth fall off and I get wrinkly old. 

I will wait even though it aches, 

To not be able to smell you when I’m afraid, 

When all I want is to be comforted in your arms, 

But your green hoodie has to do it for now. 

When all I want is every single day of this life with you, 

All the mundane everyday things, doing groceries and vacuuming floors,

Cooking dinner and doing the chores, 

And with you- I know it’s gonna be different, 

Cause baby, you and I, together we will create a home… 

I’ll get my chance to give you all the love and care you deserve, 

To make you realize that 

to live with you is worth dying a million times, 

That I more than just love you 

and we are so much more than mere lovers. 

You are my every breath, every pulse, 

and you are the pauses in between. 

I will wait as long as it takes, 

To feel your breath on my lips, 

To feel your fingers grab my waist, 

and pull me closer with a good night peck kiss, 

I won’t a need a blanket then, 

I’ll have my snuggle bear to keep me warm, 

And like the warm ocean water creeps up to my feet 

when taking a walk on the shore at night, 

I shall creep into your arms, till eternity to be yours.

~ Kripa Sarkar

Too many questions

Why do I feel so complete in this insignificance?

How is there ease in this indifference?

What is that invisible strength in continuance?

And somewhere, but where, is there power in interdependence?

Why is there hate in resistance?

Perhaps some love in the vengeance?

How is there more truth than lie in pretense?

Is there any value to my existence?

That's too many questions with answers

Welling up with awkward suspense.

Sadly or joyfully, this is what my mind does

In lonesomeness-

This is who I am, without your presence-

An ugly ensemble of questionnaire,

A silly soul so bizarre.

Yet how my heart floats when you are near,

Your smile absorbs the uncountable doubts I smear

All over myself, your words mutate my haze into crystal clear

Water- providing worth to my blankness- I overcome all fear!

Is it extreme to ask for a promise of more than a lifetime with you,

Knowing how tomorrow has a million things of which I am unsure?

Do you know I am your greatest admirer

who stares in awe no matter what you do?

How is it that to my insanity, you

And only you are the cure?

That's indeed too many questions to ask,

Yet how effortlessly all the answers lead to you,

Just like how we are meant to be,

You and me- through and through...

~ Kripa Sarkar