Life passes by. Time flies away...
No matter what I do, no matter what you do, the cycle of never-ending happenings continue, and will continue forever! What meaning each one us make out of life is unique. Just as I can only live as myself and never be you, or anyone else for that matter, life tends to unfold differently for each one of us. I am a nobody, that is the truth. And I shall remain a nobody, doesn't bother if I become the world's richest person, or if I get an honorable award, or I simply live just as an ordinary, or if I become a famous athlete... what is real will remain the same. What is real is something so blurred out of our vision today, that we believe it is nothing at all. Trying to get appreciation from the world and living a luxurious life seems to be the motive of life itself. It is not so!
It is the truth! It is real! I know not what it is. And, probably I may always be in loss of words to express what it actually is! But that is the very reason of my existence. How bewildering, knowing not what it is, yet living to know it, because I'm just aware that knowing it is the real essence of life.
I may sound like a lunatic, but if penning down all my thoughts the way are, makes me a lunatic, be it so. If deciding to live my life for knowing the truth I am unaware of, makes me unusual and unsuccessful in the eyes of the society, be it so! I have no right to change another's perspective, we are all born with one! Yet the same applies to others. I have a perspective, and it is my choice if I want to alter it, whenever required. The fact is, there is so much more going on in my mind, that it is impossible to make a note of all of it!
I wish to find a place of peace, far away from the world, far away from the ones who care for me, because eventually, their love and care becomes attachment, which limits me to do what I ought to do, if I am to live the life I wish to live.
I am telling this with experience, I find joy in solitude. Being with myself gives me a joy of freedom, and I know I'm not being watched upon! At least not watched upon by a human; what it is with God, I can't help it, he shall always be glancing upon me. In fact, that is all I wish for. Life would be heaven if I were in solitude, staring at the Omnipresent, my eyes- open or close, only capable of witnessing him, only him! He in return, would shower the bliss of his presence on me, for that shall be more than enough!
No, nothing can ever be enough! It is a continuous process. Anyways, if life would be only this much as explained above, I would be the happiest creature in this multiverse.
But how? That is a big question. Many of the great souls who have realized the true meaning of life have renounced all their possessions, and lived a life of a saint, meditated for years, reaching a state of self-realization, from where there is never a coming back! I've not reached there, but from what I've read, once you are elevated to that state of mind, you stay there forever.
What lays beyond, I'm unaware of that! Be it beyond my life, or be it the beyond of my future in this life. What I am aware of is my desire. I know the universe is with me. Because only then do I occasionally come across the books of such saints, whose lives inspire me; gives me a sense of truth in my thought. It validates my desire. Gives me a meaning to live. Nothing else convinces me that I must be alive. The only reason why I am alive today, is because the Universe wants me to. It is slowly guiding me to the direction, which will open my eyes, take off the blur of this material world!
Every breath we inhale, we inhale life. Alike to that, every step I take, the nature guides me, becoming my teacher for life. I have questions. Tons and tons of questions. They shall be answered! I know they shall be answered! The moment for which I await will be answers to all my questions. It is my intuition that says, ' All your questions would stand meaningless when the light of the divine falls on you,' I know that it is true, completely! When the Mahadev will embrace me, with his divinity and love, I shall dive in the ocean of bliss and stay there forever!
Who am I after all! What is it that I can be? What is my truth? I must find it. The journey begins, the journey had probably begun millions of years earlier when I was in some other body, but the soul remains unchanged. I thank Shiva, for blessing me with this quest to know my real self. For not a leaf shall move, nor a life shall be, without the will of Thee!!!
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